last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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