i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize