They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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