grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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