i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
