They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
