I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize