is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
