who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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