I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
