He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
