They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize