when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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