just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
