Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
