Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
