So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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