The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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