While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We have started to decorate penises.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
