I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
