im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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