I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
