he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
