I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
