Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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