She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
