There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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