maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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