Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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