one might say we're banned from that church
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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