I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
