Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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