thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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