i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
