just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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