Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
