Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
