Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
