I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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