I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
