The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
