It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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