...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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