saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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