I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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