I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
