i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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