Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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