Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
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Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
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He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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