you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just saw a hot homeless man
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
