he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize