I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
