So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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