i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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