I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize