Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
