My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
