also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
