Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
